


Free Space

by HidansCrazyLaugh



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bingo, Humor, M/M, Old Age, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 07:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21442459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HidansCrazyLaugh/pseuds/HidansCrazyLaugh
Summary: Kakuzu insists on going to bingo night each week at the senior citizen center to win the prize money. This time they go, Kakuzu considers never going again.
Relationships: Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto)
Kudos: 56





	Free Space

**Author's Note:**

> Can be read a gen or kakuhida. Thanks for reading and please enjoy!
> 
> Originally posted- 2019-02-07 
> 
> I honestly can't remember what tags I used.

It was ‘bingo night’ at the local senior citizen community center and Kakuzu went each and every week, dragging Hidan along with him. Hidan didn’t understand why Kakuzu wanted to hang out with wrinkly old people once a week until the first time Kakuzu called out ‘bingo’ and went to collect his prize money. He was very happy with his winnings and bought Hidan dinner at three in the afternoon the next day.

At the door, Kakuzu sighed when he saw who was checking ID’s that night. Granny Chiyo. She always fell asleep in between people coming in the door. And she looked dead asleep as they walked up.

Hidan made a face as Kakuzu cleared his throat loudly.

“I think she’s dead, Kakuzu.” Hidan deadpanned, “Look at her, I don't’ even think she’s breathing.”  
  
“She’s not dead.” Kakuzu sighed and picked up the pen attached to the table and poked her arm with it, “Chiyo, wake up.”  
  
She didn’t move.

“Yep, dead.” Hidan announced, “Better call the undertaker to come get her.”  
  
Just then she popped her head up and laughed, “Ah-ha! Gotcha!” She laughed and held her hand out for Kakuzu’s ID to prove he was in fact a senior citizen.

“You did not ‘get me’, I knew you were just pretending to be dead, like you do every night you stand here.” Kakuzu told her as he reached into his pocket and withdrew his wallet and removed his ID card to hand over to her.

She smiled and bat her lashes at him, blissfully unaware that prior to arriving, Kakuzu and Hidan had murdered a man. “Ah, Mr. Kakuzu, you noticed. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you had a fake ID made and came here each week just to flirt with me.”

Hidan covered his mouth as he tried not to laugh as Kakuzu scowled at the batty old woman. Kakuzu? Flirt with someone? He barely flirted with Hidan!

“Yes, of course.” Kakuzu drawled, “You are the only reason I would come here, not the prize money I’ve won the last three weeks in a row.”  
  
Chiyo laughed, “I kid, Kakuzu. Alright, go on in and I hope you lose this time, I have a hot lunch date this weekend and need the cash!”  
  
Hidan and Kakuzu made their way into the senior center and sat down at a table and waited for everyone to arrive so the game could get started. An old man hobbled by, handing out bingo cards and Hidan looked over his.

“Hey…” He started, “What’s this one? It’s always on all the cards, ‘free space’... what’s that mean?” Hidan tapped the center of his bingo card.

“It means it’s automatically filled.” Kakuzu told him. Why didn’t Hidan already know that?

“You mean... I can put an x on it already?” Hidan was looking a little confused, and seemed to need clarification.

“Yes. Like this.” Kakuzu picked up one of the markers and drew an x neatly in the center of the square.

“So...all this time...I’ve been waiting for them to call out ‘free space’ and I could have filled it in myself?”

Kakuzu looked up at Hidan, was he serious? Hadn’t he played bingo in grade school? And why would they call out ‘free space’ on a card that was numbers and letters?

“Tell me you’re joking.”

“I would have fucking won blackout last week!!” Hidan grabbed the bingo sheet and crumpled it in his hands and threw it across the table, hitting Kakuzu in the face, “Fuck this shit! I’m going home!”  
  
“Young man! You watch your language!”

Hidan turned around, pointing his finger in some old woman’s face, not before noticing she would have had a nice figure in her youth. “You don’t tell me what to do! If I want to say fuck, or shit, I will! And hey, nice tits, grandma!” 

There were several shocked gasps around them. Kakuzu didn’t even get the chance to warn him as the old woman lifted her walker and swung it at Hidan. He went down with a scream.

“Kakuzu! You keep this boy of yours under control or I’m going teach him some manners!”

“I do my best, Tsunade…” Kakuzu told her and rubbed his face, wondering if the prize money was even worth it. 

“Your best isn’t very good, now is it?!” She took a seat at their table and pulled out a bottle of sake and a glass from her purse, “I’m going to sit here and keep an eye on both of you tonight. I bet you’ve been cheating.”  
  
“I bet you’re already drunk…” Hidan muttered

“And I bet you’re about to get smacked.” Kakuzu said and Tsunade did exactly that. Kakuzu wished they had just stayed home and watched the Antiques Road Show. 


End file.
